


The war in my head

by AmericanDreamer



Category: Glee
Genre: A lot of feels, Alternate Canon, Angst, Blangst, Drama, Episode: s04e18 Shooting Star, F/F, F/M, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Klaine, M/M, May add tags as I go along, Nightmares, PTSD, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Shooting Star, Tragedy, Trauma, burt the awesome dad, multiple character death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 01:25:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17499020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmericanDreamer/pseuds/AmericanDreamer
Summary: Alternate canon of the Shooting Star episode. Real gunmen enter the building that day and no one comes out unchanged.





	1. Prologue

His ears were ringing, vision swimming. He could feel hands grabbing him. making him jerk back until he hit a hard surface. He pulled up his knees, hands over his ears. Why wouldn't the ringing stop? It was so loud.

Faces crowded him. He just pulled back here. Their voices faint, as if underwater. Too faint to be heard over the shrill dentist's drill in his brain now.

He could feel the stress and chaos around him. Shut his eyes that were clouded in iced. So much red. Too much. It was all too much. He didn't want to be there anymore. Someone had to make it stop.

Then the screaming started. And everything went from black to red. Before it all went silent. Finally...


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another day at McKinley

It was a Wednesday in early April. Spring had just started, or at least it was the first day they didn't need a thick jacket outside. It was sunny as Sam Evans pulled up to the Anderson home. He had the radio blasting. Even though Summer was his favorite season, finally feeling some warmth on his face after another harsh winter, put an extra big smile on his face. He adjusted his sunglasses as he waited. He honked the horn, hoping this time Blaine was at least out of bed.

Inside the house, Blaine cursed as he heard the horn and checked the clock. Late again.. He checked his hair one more time in the bathroom mirror before rushing to grab his shoes.

He still couldn't believe his daily outfit had become a cheerleading uniform. Complete with white sneakers. He hated the feeling of them. But he always remembered the purpose of them: tearing down Sue Sylvester from the inside out. So he dutifully tied his white laces and sprinted downstairs.

He passed through the large, empty kitchen, grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and ran out the door.

He raced for the car, his bookbag over his shoulder, getting in the passenger side.

"Sorry Sam... I was doing my hair and..." He started as his friend drove off.

Sam waved him off. "Don't worry, man. Did you at least get some sleep tonight?"

Blaine bit into his apple. "Yeah, totally."

Sam glanced at him, seeing the bags under his eyes. "History paper?"

"Math test." Sam schrunched up his face. "Gross.”

Blaine nodded, eating his apple. "Yep."

"Dude. Tell me that's not breakfast again."

Blaine looked up. "What?" He looked at his apple. "What’s wrong with this? It's healthy."

"Man, you're not sleeping enough and all you eat is an apple before Glee? You gotta get in some carbs for those muscles."

"What muscles?" Blaine chuckled.

"The ones I'm going to help you build."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "I'm fine the way I am."

"You want Kurt back, don't you?"

"Sam, Kurt knows what I look like. We didn't break up because I don't look like some Greek God."

Sam grinned. "Thanks, man. And I know that. But you'd totally get his attention. Especially if other guys turn heads when they see you."

"You think I should make him jealous?” Blaine asks with a smirk.

Sam shrugs.

"That plan may actually work. If Kurt was here and not living in New York."

"Details. I can totally tell him about all the guys flirting with you."

"Thanks, buddy." Blaine chuckled again. "I appreciate you trying to help."

"I got your back. Just wanna see you be happy again."

"I am happy. School is going great, Glee is coming together, I've got awesome friends..." He grinned pointedly at Sam, who grinned back."And Kurt and I... Well we're friends again at least. We'll get there. He just needs to trust me first. It takes time."

"As long as you're ok. And ya know. Operation Klaine is not gonna finish until our mission is complete."

Blaine raised an eyebrow." Operation Klaine?"

"Well yeah, dude. Klaine. You and Kurt. Blaine and Kurt. It was Tina's idea. She said it's your ship name? I mean, I dunno what boats have to do with it. But yeah." He grinned, but looked worried at Blaine's shocked face. "You're not mad, are you? I shouldn't have told you. Tine said it was a secret. She's gonna kill me."

"Sam, relax, I’m not mad. I'm surprised and kind of confused. But I'm not mad. It.. - Klaine? Really?"

"Yeah. We voted on it. I mean it was that or Blurt. Which ya know..."

Blaine held up his hand to stop him. "You know what? I don't want to know." He grabbed his apple again as Sam turned up the radio to sing along the rest of ride.

As they pulled up to the school, Sam turned to Blaine as he turned off the engine. “You won’t tell Tina I told you about the Klaine thing, right? Cause you’re not supposed to know. And she’s kinda scary sometimes.”

Blaine smirked. “Believe me, I’m just going to pretend I know nothing about your secret mission.” He threw his bag over his shoulder again as he got out the car and closed the door.

Sam joined him. “Thanks, man. And don’t worry. I won’t let her do things that are too crazy. At least I talked her out of the whole having a plane ask Kurt out at work.” He chuckled as Blaine stared at him.

“She...” He waved his arms. “Okay no. I am not going to get involved, I’m just going to pretend I don’t know.” He sighed. “But Sam, you do know I can handle it myself, right? I do appreciate you wanting to help, of course. But we don’t need any crazy plans.”

“I know, dude. But we like you together and well, we don’t like you moping around...”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “I am not moping...” Sam gave him a look. “Anymore...”

“Look.” He started, putting an arm around Blaine’s shoulders. “We’re your friends and you know we’ll do whatever it takes to get you smiling again. And we all know you’re a lot happier when you’re with Kurt. So ya know. We’re helping speed things up. Which reminds me. I gotta share my list of pick-up lines with you. They’ll totally help.” He takes out his phone to put in a reminder.

“Sam, I don’t need pick-up lines for Kurt. He’s not a new conquest. He already knows me.”

“Well yeah, but maybe starting over will fix things.”

Blaine sighed, smiling though. “You’re a good friend, Sam. But I really don’t think...”

“Blainey!” Tina interrupted as she rushed over and hugged him.

Blaine chuckled. “Hey Tina. How was your Skype date with Mike?”

“Oh my god it was so good... I really think we’re making total progress to get back together soon!” She grinned happily.

“Really? That’s great, Tina... I always thought you guys made a great couple.” He replied with a smile as he walked to his locker with her.

“I know. We were a total power couple. Everyone always talked about Finn and Rachel, but we were totally hotter than them. Well until you and Kurt of course.” She added, making him shake his head in amusement,

“Of course.”

“How are you guys anyway?” She asked as he opened his locker to switch books, leaning against the one next to his. “Any closer to patching things up?”

Now that he knew what she was up to, he realized she was mainly trying to get information from him. He was grateful to have her though and felt maybe getting some help wouldn’t be so bad.

“Well, we’re talking. We have weekly Skype talks and we text and call when we have time. And with Sectionals coming up and all the planning for the dance and the other clubs, it’s not that much time. He8s busy with work anyway.”

He closed his locker and heard some commotion behind him. He turned around seeing Sam trying to calm down a frantic Brittany.

“What’s going on?”

Tina rolled her eyes and linked arms with him. “Apparently she had another dream last night or Lord Tubbington told her, who knows. The world is ending again...”

“Another meteor?”

Tina shrugged. “Maybe. I kinda tuned out when she ranted this morning. Thank god Sam is here to indulge her fantasies now. I feel for her sometimes. But only sometimes. Cause wow.”

“Well hopefully they don’t get married again this time if it is our last day on earth again.” He smirked a little at the memory.

“Let’s hope not. Come on, we should get to the choir room. I think Mr. Shue has new ideas today and I so need a solo at Sectionals this time.”

“Hey you’d deserve it, too.”

“Well obviously. I mean we are seniors now. We deserve it way more than the newbies do.”

Blaine shook his head in amusement as they headed for class, Tina chattering on about why they deserve a lot more than the others do. Just another day at McKinley High.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I am unsure when I will update, I don’t have a set schedule as of yet.
> 
> If you enjoyed it, please review. Any feedback is very welcome and I hope you enjoy 😊
> 
> Angst is coming up soon, I just didnt want to rush it. Keep reading 😉
> 
> Love, Tyana


	3. Chapter 2

As they stepped into the choir room, they found several classmates already there. Marley was singing an unknown song and dancing around the room, while Jake rapped and followed her. Sugar tried to follow along, but was sadly still out of tune. Badly enough that it made Blaine’s ears hurt. Unique sat in her seat, redoing her mascara and scolding Kitty at the same time for being bitchy. 

 

Normal day like always then. 

 

Brittany quickly joined the dancing Marley, grabbing her hands, twirling her around. Sam clapped along to the song.

 

Blaine still didn’t recognize it, but grinned at them. The joy in the choir room, the freedom, were just some of the reasons he loved stepping into this class. It was the one place they could all safely be themselves. No one judged them. Sure, some judged, like Kitty. Just like Santana always had. Hell, even Kurt and he had judged some of Rachel’s outfits in the past. And none of them were perfect. But as soon as they got into that room, shut the door behind them, it was like closing the door on everything bad. They could let loose. Have fun. No slushies thrown at their heads or hurtful words. They couldn’t get shoved against lockers. 

 

For just one period, they could fully be them. And while some acted like they didn’t want to be there, he never missed the small smiles Kitty gave when she thought no one was looking. And Jake wasn’t as tough. They were a family in that room. One team. What they all needed. 

 

“What are you smiling about?” Tina asked from beside him. 

 

He almost forgot she was there. He looked at her and just smiled more. “Just thinking.”

 

“About Kurt?” She smirked knowingly. 

 

He chuckled. “Good guess, but no. More about this room. How many happy memories we’ve made here.”

 

She sighed happily. “Mm, there have been plenty. And more to come with Rachel out of the spotlight.” She rolled her eyes.

 

“Tina…” He started in amusement.

 

“You know it’s true. And I know they named you the “new Rachel”, but she herself gave that title to me.”

 

“I’m happy to share, you know that.” He smiled.

 

“Yeah, I do know. But I don’t want to share. Just like Kurt before, I want the spotlight to myself for once.”

 

“We’ll make it happen. The year isn’t over yet.”

 

“I know, I know. I just want to make sure it does happen eventually. Before you and Kurt get married.”

 

He laughed. “Tina… We’re not even together right now.”

 

“Oh please, as if that means you won’t.” She nudged his shoulder, making him shake his head in amusement.

 

Sure he still hoped for it. But after cheating on Kurt with their friend Jeff, he knew it would take time to gain his trust again. Even if both of them had been drunk and miserable that night. Nick wasn’t exactly happy either, despite Jeff having been miserable because they had broken up a few days earlier. It only made them realize how much they loved each other and they got back together already.

 

But then they had officially been broken up. And he had actually cheated on Kurt. He barely remembered it and it meant nothing. But if he had been in Kurt’s shoes, he wouldn’t be so easy with forgiveness either. Him being lonely since Kurt left was no excuse. Neither was Kurt barely talking or having time for him anymore. They should have talked about it. He definitely should have. Anything but this. 

 

At least they were friends again. Barely. Maybe it was better this way. They could sort of start over. Be true friends, get to know each other, learn how to communicate better. They needed time to heal. 

 

The idea of them getting back together in the future though and maybe getting married… Yeah, that made him smile.

 

“Speak of the devil…” Tina told him with a smile, indicating his Blackbird ringtone going off.

 

He grinned, picking up. “Hey stranger. You’re up early…”

 

Kurt sighed on the other end. “Wasn’t my choice. Stayed up a little late with Rachel after she had yet another fight with Finn. And then I had this dream after I did fall asleep and well…”

 

“Was it at least a good dream?” He asked, ignoring people whistling at him, recognizing the stupid grin on his face. It only came out with Kurt and they all knew. He went to grab some sheetmusic from his bag, setting it on the piano for later.

 

“If you call a dream about a very naked me and a horny pizza guy good… Then very much so, yes.” He tried not to blush, biting his lip.

 

“Wow. That sounds… Active. So and your first thought this morning was to call me instead of going back to bed?”

 

“I… Well... “ he grinned as his friend’s loss for words. 

 

“I’m just teasing, Kurt. I’m sure you didn’t call me first thing after you woke up.” He smirked.

 

The silence on the other end intrigued him. “Kurt?”

 

Kurt cleared his throat. “Umm no, I didn’t call you first thing. I was… I made coffee first. Obviously.” 

 

He grinned as he distinctly heard the sound of the coffeemaker in the background. “Uhuh. Sure.”

 

“Shut up.” 

 

He chuckled again, knowing they were really going back to a comfortable friendship, maybe more. “How was your meeting yesterday with Isabelle?”

 

“Oh! Yes, I forgot to tell you! She said if I keep up my work, she may let me in on her next meeting with Anna… Can you believe it?? Me, in that meeting? Discussing the next Vogue issue?”

 

“Wow, that’s amazing, Kurt!” He grinned happily, genuinely happy for him. “Would you actually get any say on the content?”

 

“Well no, but just being there, in the same room, breathing the same air… God, I can’t wait. The inspiration that would flow through that space... “ He sighed dreamily. 

 

“You’ll be in there in no time. Hey you might even end up in that office and get to talk some day.”

 

Kurt scoffed. “In my dreams, yes. So tell me, how’s Glee today? Has Mr. Schue pulled out any Journey yet?”

 

Blaine chuckled. “He’s not in yet, everyone’s just kind of chatting and dancing.”

 

“While Kitty gives them the evil eye?”

 

He looked over at the cheerleader in question and looked away quickly, not wanting her to catch him. “The usual, yeah.”

 

Mr. Schuester walked in then with Coach Beiste, heading right for the board. “Alright, everyone, go sit down. We have a lot to discuss today.” 

 

Judging from the grin on his face, it was definitely good news. For him anyway, maybe not for him.

 

“Mr. Schue is here, lots of plans apparently.”

 

“He found a new Journey song. Or oh god, he’s going to rap any minute now.” Blaine couldn’t help but snort at that.

 

“Hi Kurt.” Mr. Schuester said loud enough for Kurt to hear him, smiling as he wrote down the word ‘Anger’ on the whiteboard.

 

“He didn’t hear me, did he?” Kurt asked and Blaine chuckled again.

 

“No, don’t worry, you’re fine.”

 

“Oh thank god. I’ve always had this nightmare that he-”

 

Kurt continued talking as Blaine walked over to his seat and Mr Schuester started talking.

 

“Alright, take your seats, guys. Blaine, say goodbye to Kurt and we can-”

 

A loud bang sounded out suddenly. Everyone froze, looking at the door in silence.

 

No one quite knew what to do. Blaine could still hear Kurt in his ear. 

 

“Blaine? What was that sound?”

 

“I… I’m not sure…” His heart was pounding. That sound hadn’t been what he thought, right?

 

“Mr. Schue? Are we sure that was-” Ryder started.

 

A second loud bang was heard, this time followed by people screaming. 

 

“Kurt, I gotta go…” Voice shaking as they all stared ahead in shock.

 

“Blaine? What was that? Bla-” He quickly hung up as everyone sprung into action.

 

Back in New York Kurt stared at his dark phone with shaking hands. 

 

“Kurt? Was that Blaine? How is he?” His roommate asked as she walked into the apartment, smiling happily.

 

“Rachel… I think… I think we need to call 911.”

 

Rachel froze, staring at him. “What? Why?”

 

“I think there might be a shooter at McKinley…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go, the angst has started!! 😱 What do you think so far? Let me know, hoping to have the next chapter up soon. This is going to be a dark ride, people. Be warned!


End file.
